What are your thoughts, feelings, and expectations around becoming a parent?

When I was little and people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up my answer was always a mom. I always knew I wanted to have three boys first and then a girl and I wanted to have my kids young so that I could enjoy them. I also at some point decided I wanted to be a doctor but mostly I always said I wanted to be a mom. 

So when I grew up and I was ready to start a family I felt very lucky that I didn't experience any fertility issues. I felt thrilled and elated and excited that I was pregnant. The concept of growing a human inside of me was mind-blowing. I thoroughly relished the idea of experiencing growing my baby. In reality the practice of growing my baby was a lot more difficult for my body than I ever anticipated. I did not enjoy the physical experience of being pregnant even though I massively enjoyed the conceptual experience of being pregnant. 

I spent a lot of time thinking about being pregnant, what my growing baby was experiencing, and thinking about birthing a baby, and hardly any time whatsoever considering postpartum. I knew that my parents would come and visit and help once the baby arrived. That knowledge was very comforting. I didn't feel like I needed to scramble to build a team or a tribe to care for me postpartum. That was a luxury. 

I found that I spent a lot of time thinking about being pregnant, birthing a baby, and zero time thinking about recovering postpartum, or what parenting meant, or what the experience would be like at all. There were not many conversations between my spouse and I about our parenting philosophies, or ideals, or our goals.(Now, one of the most important things I do is encouraging parents to come up with parenting goals. Goals can help shape and change the entire experience of your parenting journey.) Those conversations happened almost reactively instead of proactively. We became more proactive overtime.  Ultimately, my spouse and I both wanted to become parents and we feel honored to be blessed with our children.

Overtime I started to wonder about people finding out they were expecting having zero expectations of becoming a parent. I found myself wondering what that experience would be like for them. I found myself asking what kind of support those people would have? I found myself experiencing a need to serve those people. I started wondering about people who desperately wanted to become a parent and we're experiencing infertility. I found myself wondering what that experience would be like for them. I found myself asking the same question, what kind of support would those people have? I found myself experiencing a need to serve those people.

Whatever your thoughts feelings and expectations are around becoming a parent, know that there are people available to support you; know that there are people here willing to serve you.

Thanks for taking the time to read my post. Until next time.

With warmth, love, and kindness,

Raquel